I feel safer. It is night. A day is over and I am in my room now. My room is my own at this point basically, but it used to be our library, and you can tell this from all the shelves and books, duh! I share it now, after adding a queen size bed set, as a bedroom with my 170 pound dog. He sleeps on the floor and spends his night in light sleep ever ready to growl or bark to protect me. Snow plows this winter have been especially threatening.
Night means I can play at the computer. I am a grown-up and can stay up until four in the AM if I want to! There are emails and face book and the New York Times to read. There is an almost nightly netflix movie. There is no sex, a trade off because of some decisions I have made, but then now that is really fine with me. Experiencing peace and being in control of my own experiences is really what I crave most at this time in my life. Wanting such solitude might have been unfathomable by me as recently as 7 years ago, but circumstances change as does need. Safety and time that is mine, and mine alone, all alone, works best now for me.
Now let me leave this blog and see what is in the Science Times for tomorrow. Tuesdays and the NYT Science Times are delicious.
Time to one's self feels very safe in my room. and I even have a huge dog to protect me.
Night means I can play at the computer. I am a grown-up and can stay up until four in the AM if I want to! There are emails and face book and the New York Times to read. There is an almost nightly netflix movie. There is no sex, a trade off because of some decisions I have made, but then now that is really fine with me. Experiencing peace and being in control of my own experiences is really what I crave most at this time in my life. Wanting such solitude might have been unfathomable by me as recently as 7 years ago, but circumstances change as does need. Safety and time that is mine, and mine alone, all alone, works best now for me.
Now let me leave this blog and see what is in the Science Times for tomorrow. Tuesdays and the NYT Science Times are delicious.
Time to one's self feels very safe in my room. and I even have a huge dog to protect me.
Alice, I too love the peace of my room at night, whether alone or with my wonderful husband. I enjoy shutting the door, scratching the dog's belly (as she assume the position almost immediately), and knowing that I am in my own space. I love my room on the second floor and especially on summer nights with the air coming in and the low hum of the fan. This is a nice post, and having been in your home, I can picture it perfectly.
ReplyDeleteHope you are well and perhaps we can meet up sometime this summer. I have created a new blog page called Crow Cathedral. Visit sometime if you get a chance. Tam
If you could not fail, what would you try? See my facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/pages/edit/?id=259559424056247&sk=basic
DeleteI just saw this, Tammy. Long ago now but better late than never. Thanks for writing. Do you still do the blog page? Alice
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